Colorado Comfort

It is crazy to think a part of me didn't want to go to Colorado...I was scared, angry and embarrassed...I didn't want to see my family or friends.  I was going to skip out on our annual 4th of July brunch at my Grandparents. I didn't think my heart could handle a vacation.

It wasn't until AFTER I got home from Colorado that I realized I had made the right choice in going! Don't get me wrong...I love my family and friends, and Colorado will always be HOME to me, but it was the hardest thing I have ever done...I had to be "happy" for 7 days straight.

As I downloaded my pictures onto my computer, I saw lots of great memories that I am now thankful I didn't miss out on...

 

Bishop Castle - reaffirmed that I am truly afraid of heights! 

 

Watching our soldiers raise the flag at our annual 4th of July brunch. 

 

Bernard family photo...4 generations!

  

Seeing my niece experience her 1st fireworks. 

 

Take our "unprofessional" family photos...as we avoided sprinklers and the storms!

Go to the zoo with family and friends (thanks Major's for joining us)!

- We also had dinner with over half of the Taylor side of my family (I held my cousin's 2 month old and released so many tears that needed to come out!).

- Played many competitive games of Bocce ball in my parents back yard - us girls are pretty good :-)

- Celebrated my dad's birthday by making homemade ice cream and grilling out side...mmm!

- Checked my old renter out, but then spent hours cleaning up after her...ugh

- Attended the Patriotic Rodeo at the Greeley Stampede

- Hung out with our dear friends (and matchmakers) for an entire day!

...........PLUS, lots of down time to just hang out with my parents, brother, sister-in-law, niece and husband!!

Colorado was the hardest thing I have experienced since the miscarriage, but also the best thing I have done since then also. I had my moments where I cried and hated the world, but it also opened my heart up to being happy again.  

A parents love...

May 10, 2012 was the best day...James and I found out we were going to be parents!! The days to follow were filled with joy and anticipation...we were 9 short months away from having our own bundle of joy. We immediately jumped into planning since Baby Lyle was due mid January and James' orders were up the following March.

June 8, 2012...James and I got to see Baby Lyle at our 1st ultrasound. Baby was measuring 6 weeks, I however was 8 weeks...panic set in. We were quickly reassured that we could be off on our dates and that a follow-up ultrasound would be scheduled for the following week. Blood work was taken and James and I were sent home to wait. I still had all the symptoms of being pregnant...we held onto that and our faith.

June 13, 2012...My mom had flown in from Colorado and joined us for our 2nd ultrasound. As we watched the monitor we didn't see a heart beat and knew baby wasn't growing. We sat down with the doctor and discussed our options...surgery was scheduled for the next day. That night we received a call saying that my HCG levels were continuing to rise...there was hope - baby was holding on!! Surgery was cancelled and another ultrasound was scheduled.

June 18, 2012...Our 3rd (and final ultrasound). After 10 days, baby had made 1 days worth of growth. The doctor also informed us that my HCG levels had dropped drastically...Baby Lyle had stopped growing. Surgery was scheduled for the next day.

Sad...Angry...Scared...Guilt...Relief --- what emotion should we be feeling?! I was sad that I would never get to hold Baby Lyle. I was angry that God had taken my baby away. I was scared that the surgery would affect our chances of having more children. I felt guilty - had I caused harm to my baby when I fell or took my seizure meds? The craziest feeling though was relief...baby was no longer having to fight to survive.

June 19, 2012...Surgery went well. I went home to recover physically and emotionally. And Baby Lyle went to heaven --- God received a very special angel today.

I still feel sad, angry, scared, guilt and relief...but most of all I feel LOVE. While James and I don't have a baby to hug and kiss, we are still parents and a parents love is the greatest feeling ever.

We love you Baby Lyle

April - June 2012

OBX: Flying High

Last weekend James and I took a weekend getaway to The Outer Banks of North Carolina....or as the locals call it the "OBX". The weather was perfect and the beach was beautiful. The area is well known for being the location where Orville and Wilbur Wright took their first flight. So it seemed only fitting that we did some flying of our own...

Ready for lift off!

Checking out the view of Croatan Sound and Atlantic Ocean

Good thing we were too high up to see this!

Coming in for a dip...err, landing!

We had a blast para sailing...I think my fear of heights is getting better. The next day James decided it was another good day for flying, so he went hang gliding (I was too chicken)! It was really fun to watch him though...they hooked him and his guide up to the hang glider and then there was a long cord attaching them to a very small airplane. The plane took off down the runway and up James went!! Once he got to about 2,000ft the airplane detached itself from the glider and they just floated around. When James landed he had the biggest grin on his face!!

**I will try and upload those pictures later** 

Our 1st Home

In March James and I moved out of Army housing and into our 1st home together...we call it our 1st because WE got to pick it out and furnish it! We did lots of research, looked at tons of places and agreed that Colonial Tradewinds would be our home for the next year! The apartment was very spacious and had lots of storage. A few days after moving in we flew to Colorado to get all of our stuff. I was so excited to have an ample supply of kitchen utensils and gadgets to cook with...the first night I cooked Jamaican Jerk chicken (with marinate we had picked up on our honeymoon). Not even 5 minutes into baking the smoke alarm was going off...I was a bit embarrassed being a new bride and burning our meal. BUT it turned out that I had not burnt anything! After several nights of listening to the smoke alarm go off we finally called the maintenance company...they came and replaced the smoke alarm - yay! - WRONG, it continued to go off every time I cooked! The new verdict...oven needs to be replaced (something wrong with the gas flow). After waiting almost 10 days our new oven arrives -yay! - WRONG! The smoke alarm went off again :-( Maintenance at this point is on speed dial. They can't seem to figure it out, so the next night when the alarm is going off, I called the non-emergency fire department line...4 men arrive at the door (embarrassed again). They take a look at the oven and smoke alarm...vents need to be cleaned! Easy problem to be fixed until I realize the vents don't actually go outside...our oven is not hooked up to any vents, it just recirculates the air (Dad says that is normal for gas ovens). Back to square one. At this point I am rarely using the oven because it drives me CrAzY, but I can't avoid it for the next year...so I try it out again and smoke alarm goes off and I speed dial maintenance. They come...new verdict...oven has a film on it from manufacturing that needs to be burned off. So I use it 3 more times...still causing the smoke alarm to go off...GRRRR! Maintenance is supposed to be by today...

To top it all off this is not our only maintenance issue:

• kitchen sink pipes leak...maintenance replaces the U pipe! A couple of nights later the pipes are leaking AGAIN...pipes were put on wrong and need to be replaced. Maintenance comes back by and does the whole process again...we have working pipes! BUT now our sink won't drain due to the fact that the drain is no longer flesh with the sink...the water pools around the drain - do I dare call maintenance?!?!
• -toilet runs nonstop...maintenance shortens the chains! As I laid in bed last night I listened to drip...drip...drip!!!!!!!!!!

I am usually a very calm and patient person, but this apartment is driving me bonkers and James...well he is not a happy camper either to say the least ;-)

Lets try this again...

I started up a blog a few months back to keep everyone up-to-date on James and I...well you can see I didn't do such a great job. LOTS has happened since August of 2011! Here is a brief recap:

August - January 2012: James was deployed to Afghanistan. I moved in with my parents during the 5 month stint. Thanks to modern technology we were able to keep in contact from across the world!!

January 16th: James returned stateside and I officially moved to Hampton, VA.
January 19th - 22nd: We took a long weekend trip to Washington, DC...kind of like a 2nd honeymoon :-)
January 26th - 29th: Drove down to North Carolina to see James' parents for the 1st time since returning from overseas.
February 22nd - 26th: Merry Christmas!! We drove to New Jersey and then to New York to spend our "Christmas" together. During this trip I was able to meet a lot of James' family. I also had my 15 seconds of fame on the Dave Letterman show!

March 15th: Moved into our new apartment...what we like to call our "1st home" together since we were able to pick it out and furnish it ourselves (previously lived in Army housing)...still working on getting the kinks fixed...ugh!
March 19th - 24th: We took a short trip back to Colorado to see my family and load up the Santa Fe with the essentials we would need for our new apartment...my bride-brain was on overload when packing last June, apparently essentials did not include towels or sheets...oops! Friday morning we hopped in the vehicle and headed east...Saturday evening we arrived home - it was a beautiful road trip across country!
April 8th: Easter...our 1st holiday spent together as husband and wife. I tried my best to make it traditional, but a broken oven made it a bit difficult ;-)
April 14th: Surprise Birthday weekend in Williamsburg...visited the Jamestown Fort, took a food tour of Merchant Square, learned how to make wine at the Williamsburg Winery and tried to solve a 70s Murder Mystery while enjoying a 4 course meal...yep, my tummy was full by the end of the day!!

**I have more pictures on my camera, but haven't put them on my computer yet.

Life has been a whirlwind of fun and adventures since marrying the love of my life! My plan is to keep this blog more up to date...check back soon!